I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
