We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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