i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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