Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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