her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
