She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
