so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
