Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He better not be in your backpack
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
