My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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