you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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