Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
