He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
