you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
