Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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