Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
