He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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