i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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