38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
