I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
