EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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