I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize