WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
