I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just pee around me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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