We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
