I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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