We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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