Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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