Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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