Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
