He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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