Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
