white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
