Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
