Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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