your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
