We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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