I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize