Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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