Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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