he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think i got beer on your cat.
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