come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
