Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
