I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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