hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
