Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
