we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
