so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
