So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
