party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize