lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize