Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
May the power of my ass compel you!!