Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
