How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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