i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize