I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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