yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
